Spill Fatigue

We have a female Prime Minister. Last night I was excited about this proposition. I even added a twibbon to my avatar. Today I'm sad.

Sad that the hope I felt 2.5 years ago was so quickly eroded. I remember that when I awoke to a brave new world of no more Howard I facebooked (the old Twitter) that "I will never be sad again". And now, all I feel is sorrow. I'm sad that the media, the "worm", the factions, the polls, have led to the toppling of a Prime Minister who, I think, was doing a pretty good job over all. Sure, he was looking pretty crap and weak on some major issues lately, but I tend to agree with this article.

I'm also sad that there are still a lot of people out there who don't think it's a woman's job to run our country. According to @katiedavis, B105, Brisbane's popular (mainstream) music station had people saying horrible sexist things on her drive to work. That sickens me. It also makes me sad that this is how we get a female PM - through the factional back-stabbing. Not that I expect that any female politician should be above such things - they have as much right to play the game as the men. And Julia plays it well, and I respect her for that.

Now don't get me wrong. I like Julia Gillard. She's a redhead. Portentously, I dyed my hair red(der) on Tuesday night. She's a strong, intelligent, confident woman who I very much wanted to become our first President. And she seems to be doing great. I've never been a huge fan of Question Time but I've been glued to it all day. Well, my ears have. I've been pretending trying to do real work as well. I will totally vote for her, and I think she will win.

But I'm a sensitive little flower, as anyone who knows me really well will attest to. And watching Kevin Rudd's goodbye speech made me cry. A lot. Because you know what, I'm proud too. Proud that I helped to elect a government (through preferences, but still) that did do some important things. Say sorry. Ratify Kyoto. Keep us out of the recession - that was AMAZING. And I'm proud that he tried for the mining tax. I'm sad that didn't work, too. I'm proud that Rudd worked on reforming health care. I'm proud that he changed a lot of the Draconian measures that Howard had put into place around same-sex relationships. I'm not proud of the internet filter, or the backing down on climate change, or backing down on whaling, or allowing Peter Garret to speak about anything, ever. But dammit, Rudd, I believed in you. You were a smart, nerdy, leader who gave us hope when we needed it. You were the first Prime Minister of my adult life that belonged to a party whose politics I could vaguely stomach. I am really really sorry for you. I was getting really sick of hearing your voice, but in a funny way I will miss you.

And now all I want to do is cry, and sleep. And hopefully tomorrow I will be excited that we are led by a woman. But I will leave the real celebrating til when she has the public's mandate. And if Tony Abbott wins, I will be selling my hand in marriage on eBay, and moving anywhere but here.