It started innocently enough. I'd had a pretty shitty day and after losing only half a kilo (yes yes I know I should be happy with that but I wasn't ok?) I made a vege-packed bolognese sauce (thx to virtual librarian for the tip about grated zucchini - you're right, I totally didn't notice it) and ate it with some notatoes (yes, you read that right, it's fake potatoes, made of cauliflower).I was pretty full afterwards, but in that "I'm full but want chocolate" kind of way that happens when you're down. So I had a diet jelly. That just didn't cut it. So I had a diet ice cream. That was pretty good, but not quite chocolatey enough. So I had a Lindt ball - I ate it very slowly, basically sucking the chocolate off. Surely that will satisfy my craving?
No. So I had another one. Then another. Then they were gone. So I had some white cooking chocolate my stepmum had in the fridge (I'm housesitting). That was yum but not chocolatey enough so I had some weird chocolate cake thing she had in the pantry. By this time I felt a bit sick and wasn't enjoying any of it, so I had a hot shower and went to bed with my shame.
About half way through this binge I stopped enjoying the food - and because the TF diet requires that you stay in ketosis I know that now it will take another few days for me to get back there - falling off the wagon is a very bad thing on this very restrictive diet, and I may not lose any weight this week. In fact, I may put some on because of my bad mood.
So I am seriously considering switching to WeightWatchers in the very near future. I still want to see how I go until I get to Canberra for the wedding - just under two weeks to go - but it's a lot harder than I thought, especially if my mood isn't good, or stable, or whatever.
falling off the wagon feels like the end of the world on any diet.
ReplyDeletejust get back on it tomorrow. don't beat yourself up for what can't be undone.
Hey. If WW worked for you in the past, then go for it. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteJust thinking about your arrghhh-can't-think-straight-completely-overwhelmed feeling - I wonder if any of it is also to do with being on a diet? I know when I have changed my diet in the past there were times when I felt very out-of-sorts. It took a while to settle down. I'm sure you're sick of us saying this, but don't beat yourself up. Take it easy. Breathe... Do whatever relaxes you, to relax...
ReplyDeleteUmm. I hate to hear you beating yourself up about this.
ReplyDeletePerhaps move to WW if that works.
Rather than stressing about this diet, then eating cause you're stressed, then feeling bad then ... sounds like a vicious cycle.
Thanks for being brave enough to share that experience - it is incredibly comforting to know I am not the only one who occasionally trawls the cupboards and fridge looking for self destructive snacks x
ReplyDelete